When the World Sleeps

Chotu, wobbling on an upside down tin can, was frantically slapping up posters on the partially lit stadium wall. He should have completed this job by the afternoon and it was useless to do it now with only a few minutes to the concert, except that Chotu's wages for the day, important to him today, depended upon it. He was lucky to finish just before his supervisor showed up.

"Chotu." the supervisor exhaled beedi smoke on him. "Still here?"
"Yes. I am waiting for my money."
"Come tomorrow, with everyone else."
"Can I get it now? I need it."

The supervisor did not reply, he was looking at the posters.

"Damned, why are the posters all upside down?"
"Uh?"
"Why is the singer hanging upside down? Did I ask you to put up posters for a circus?"
"I don't know. The man is standing in a weird way. I can hardly tell his legs from his hands. And I can't read. I don't go to school."

'I don't go to school', as Chotu had discovered over time, was a phrase that softened people when they heard it, helping him out of situations. The supervisor stood staring for some time.

"Here."
"You said fifty earlier."
"For posters put up right."
"I didn't know."
"Didn't know? Twenty is charity. I should hang you upside down too, like Mr. Rock Star here. If they notice it, I'll lose my job. Get lost."

The supervisor walked away. Chotu felt hot cheeks. He might have muttered an abuse or two as he turned to walk towards what looked like clothes wrapped up in a blanket lying on the pavement. As he lifted the baggage up with effort, he saw a huge poster, like the ones he had been putting up, swaying against the outer wall of the stadium, and this one wasn't upside down. He chuckled and said, "Stupid." The baggage made him tired within seconds and he put it down. The problem of where to sleep tonight, which had been at the back of his mind since the afternoon, as he had left home today, became urgent. He knew this problem, he had left home a number of times before, and it was exactly the problem that had made him go back thinking he will leave another day after planning, but there had been no time to plan and there was no way he could stay at that place after today.

He wondered if the concert would last all night, like some of the weddings he had worked at, so that he could loiter around till he found a corner to sleep. He picked up his baggage again and nearly half-circled the stadium to reach the exit stairs. He dropped his baggage at the bottom step and taking the stairs managed to find a door which led him to the control rooms and offices. The overworked workers did not notice him as he walked along a corridor. He reached and stopped near a glass window through which he could see a bright stage below to one side, and a dark, rippling crowd to the other. Music was faint. Colored light danced, piercing here and there the smoke surrounding the stage. Everyone seemed to be participating in a grand ritual. The scene appeared to be from another world. Chotu pulled away from the window. He had an instinct to go back home, but shook it off.

He walked back and was peeping inside a storage room when a security guard noticed him.

"What are you doing?"
"Cleaning up."
"With your bare hands? Efficient."
"I was just starting."
"Well then, start in that other direction and don't look back."

Chotu did not see any place to sleep here anyway, so without saying anything else, he walked in the direction of the guard's finger. He climbed down the stairs and sat down on his baggage, thinking of where to go. He knew that the thought of returning home was hovering at the periphery of his mind. He tried hard to avoid it. He thought of how disgusted he had been in the afternoon after the row with his mother, how crushing it would be to change his mind merely because of a little discomfort, and he thought of the wonderful life he is missing every day that he stays in that place. "I'll find a place to sleep", he said to himself, "how difficult can it be?" He picked up his baggage and walked out onto the road.

The night surprised him by expanding into a vast view so quickly, in a way assuring him. It was cool and his blanket would serve him just right. He decided to walk a little before worrying about lying down. It would kill some time of the night if nothing else.

Orange road lights and periodic traffic lights extended forever. Traffic wasn't heavy anymore, but vehicles frequently passed him. He watched his shadow play around him on the ground in this pattern of lights. He realized he liked walking like this, without going anywhere, on the side of the road at night. The city was a game and a playground. People built roads and bridges and then drove cars on them. They built houses and offices and then played out their routines around them. They went to restaurants, concerts, monuments and picnics such that everyday, with remarkable balance, there were the same number of people at these places. Chotu could not see how the game worked, and what its aim was when nothing seemed to change, but it looked complete and fulfilled in itself. It was if they all belonged together in this game, and Chotu wanted to belong with them too.

He stopped at a bridge over a railway line and looked down to see the tracks through the heavy wiring. The wind was pleasant and he wished he was in a train, or even on top of one. He imagined himself at the railway station where he could sneak into a train to get off at any city he liked. He tried to imagine what kind of a city that would be, but nothing that was different from where he was came to mind. A blast startled him. He realized a motorcycle had appeared and disappeared on the road behind him, laying almost a bomb, and he shouted out "Son of a bitch thinks he's flying an aeroplane or what!" He felt annoyed at being startled and again at saying these words. "Sorry, I shouldn't be filthy. But this one asked for it." He started walking again.

He left the road for a housing colony and saw that the lanes were empty and lights dim in front of the houses. He looked at the houses as he passed them. They were quiet and their windows were softly lit. He smelt wet grass in front of one of the houses, and seeing or hearing nobody, he decided to peep inside and walked towards the outer gate. An unseen dog suddenly barked at him. He was startled once again and had an impulse to pick up a stone and throw it in the direction of the bark. He felt like breaking a window. But he moved on fast scared if the dog should be loose. He crossed the street onto the main road again without looking back.

He was crossing the road when a bright yellow car turned sharply from somewhere and caught him in the middle. He fumbled back and forth in the sharp screech of the brakes and was almost run down before he blindly ran ahead to the other side. The car did not stop. The windows were down and he saw four or five men inside. He heard their hoarse shouts and a can flew out of the car at him. Loud noisy music was playing inside the car and it gave everything a beastly feeling for a few seconds.

He tried to calm down and picked up the can and shook it to hear some liquid still inside. He smelt it. Then took a sip. It was bitter, but he didn't want not to like it. He squinted and in a gulp emptied the can. He stood still for a while, and then moved his head a little. Then he threw the can to a side and started walking with unsteady steps. He stopped, stood still for a while, but when nothing extraordinary happened, he felt silly about the whole business and started walking normal as earlier. "Huh", he said to himself.

He sat down at the next bus stop, wrapped the blanket around him and made an effort to think. Home was out of question. He had to show them that he wasn't taking it anymore. He couldn't return now, anyway. He was quite far, and his money wasn't going to a bus conductor tonight. The blanket was making him drowsy, and he thought of lying down. But he immediately shook his head, a bus stop was no decent place to sleep. He did not leave home to become the bus stop dweller type. He tried to hum a tune to distract himself. It was irritating since he could not sing as he had never understood the lyrics. He heard someone coming and turned to see two women walking on the pavement. They seemed surprised seeing him and one of them said without stopping, "Wanna take a ride?" They laughed and passed. Chotu heard the other woman say, "Just a kid", and the first woman replied, "The rascals know everything these days." Then they laughed again.

Chotu didn't like the way the woman called him just a kid. They were barely out of sight when a man came walking and stopped near him. He was about to say something when he stopped, chortled a little and let his arm hit Chotu's back and then started following the women again. Chotu was intrigued by this little incident, but couldn't think about it much longer as it was getting cold again and he had started getting a little bored of it all and really wanted a place to sleep.

He saw a row of buses parked on the roadside. He went around to the rear gate of one. The door was open but no one appeared to be inside. He climbed onto the bus and tried to see if there was anyone near the driver's seat, but it was dark. He felt intense sleep and went to the big seat at the back and spread out his blanket. The prospect itself of sleep was relaxing. He sat and began to lay down when the seat gave out a heartless squeak. Chotu heard movement at the front of the bus and froze. He heard someone get up and walk on the bus floor, and then saw a large sleepy man coming out of the darkness, squinting his sleepy eyes.

"What are you doing?"
"Nothing. Just sitting."
"Well, just get the hell out."
"I'm just resting, I was tired. I'm traveling."
"I know the likes of you and your travels. Would you get out or not?"
'You bastard. What the hell do you mean likes of me?' Chotu thought to himself.

Chotu just sat there, and saw the man getting furious. He was getting scared but did not move. The man grabbed his arm and started dragging him to the gate. Chotu swung his other arm as hard as he could and hit the man on the chest. The man clenched his teeth and with a jerk threw Chotu out of the bus. His baggage followed. The man then closed the door. Chotu lay there frozen for a while. He couldn't hold back crying. The more he tried to hold it back, the more helplessly he cried. The door opened again, and the man stepped down till the last step of the gate. Chotu turned his face away and tried to wipe his tears.

"Where do you live?"
Chotu kept his face turned away and didn't reply.
"I said, where do you live?"
Chotu was trying to decide between asking for a place in the bus to sleep and shouting the meanest swear word he knew when he heard the door close. He turned and saw dark windows and heard the sound of the man settling down.

He got up and walked. He reached a crossing and was wondering which way to go when he heard a shout. He turned and saw a head calling him out of a police jeep. He had an instinct to run away, but thinking it might be futile, slowly walked towards the jeep.

"What are you doing here?"
"Nothing, I was just going home."
"What have you stolen?"
"I'm not a thief, I was working at the stadium, I'm going home now."
"Want me to search you?"
"It's the truth."
"Come on, get inside."
"I'm going home."
"We'll drop you home."

Chotu got inside the van wondering what trouble was in store for him this time. But the policemen just smoked for a long time, paying no attention to Chotu. Two of them were standing outside, one was on the driver seat and one sitting beside Chotu, cramping him into a corner. One of them had left his revolver lying on the seat opposite to Chotu. It appeared larger than he had imagined revolvers to be, and much heavier. Chotu wondered if he could hold up all of them and escape. His running into policemen had never been pleasant and this was the first time he had to handle them all by himself. Looking at the revolver, Chotu knew it'd take him years to muster the courage to pick it up. He wondered if it'd be good or bad to kill all these policemen. Certainly, it'll make him a criminal, but all he had ever known from the police was trouble. Would he kill them if they really accused him of theft? If they were taking him to jail? If they took away his twenty rupees? Who would believe him later? Chotu wondered if there are people in jail just because nobody would believe them. His thought was broken by the policemen getting into the jeep. The jeep started and it was as if nobody noticed him.

They had slowed down at a red-light when they saw a car crossing them. Chotu saw that it was the same yellow with the probably the same men sitting inside, only not shouting this time. He almost expected to see another can thrown out. He was startled by a policeman shouting to the driver to chase them. The driver turned the jeep sharply and Chotu saw the policemen eagerly sticking their necks out to look at the car. The yellow car took another sharp turn and all of them almost shouted at the driver to turn. Chotu was thrown to one side and almost smothered by the burly policeman. He also tried to look at the car, but couldn't and all of a sudden shouted in panic, "Hey, where are you taking me!" but no one seemed to listen. He shouted again, "Please! Let me go, I'll go myself from here, I don't know where you are taking me." but nobody was listening. He tugged at the hand of the man sitting by his side but was shaken off violently.

After much shouting and panic, he quietly sat down wondering where he'll be dropped. Finally, forgetting about finding a place to sleep, he got involved in the cops' car-chase. But the yellow car soon gained a lot of distance, and the police car was unable to catch up. He saw their desperate faces, and wanting them to go on, said "They're drunk too." The man by his right seemed to hear him after a while.

"What?"
"I said they're drunk."
"I am sure. And how do you know?"
"It looks like."
"And what were you doing at this of time night anyway? I can swear you're hiding jewels. I'll search you once we're done with this. Beware."

Chotu didn't say anything more, and he saw the cops were letting up now. One of them said, "That could have been 500 easily. And more as even this Mr. Know All is right. Chotu was worrying they might take away his twenty rupees when they search him for jewels.

He was half-relieved that when the chase was over, but worried, unsure of location, and with the same problem of where to sleep.

"Drop this Mr. Know All off on the next bus stop."
"But this is even farther from my home."
"Well you'll get a bus."
"But I have no money..."
"Well I'm sure you can steal some. Now get out."

They stopped near a bus-stop and Chotu got off. The thought of taking a bus back home came to his mind again. He wasn't sure where he was. He couldn't identify the name on the bus stop. There was hardly any traffic there. He looked around.

He saw faint lights in tents pitched a little off the road some distance away. Must be the homes of laborers, he thought. You could find something being constructed almost everywhere in the city these days. Roads, tracks, buildings. The whole city was in a relentless construction phase, and it had gone on for so long that it was now a part of the city. It was good since there was always work. Even if it was very little on some days and you would hardly get paid, but there were always little tasks like carrying lunches or tools.

He started walking in the direction of the light. He saw a bulb lit inside the tent. Outside, there was a cot prepared for somebody's sleep, with a sheet and pillow. Chotu sat down on it. Before he knew he was lying on it, looking at the stars. He feared somebody might come out but he couldn't get himself to move. He just lumped his blanket on top of himself. He recognized a star pattern in the sky - three stars lined like stones they used as stumps while playing cricket. He heard somebody moving and unwilling to have another confrontation tonight, jumped out for the road again.

He found himself on the bridge over the river, when the stink from below rose to him. Still he climbed the pavement close to the railing and looked below. It was ghostly dark and awful. He stopped there for a while and looked around. He could see bright building skeletons far away by the side of the highway, surrounded by heavy construction machinery, and on the other side he saw the malls - huge and garnished golden with sparkling lights. In the middle of these two, around him, lay the dark river and the vast dark empty land. He felt the strangeness of his being present there with not another human in sight, the evil river below him hardly flowing, and the huge admirable but suspicious structures in the distance. He wondered what would happen if the river decided someday to rise and take over. He imagined it happening and pictured the lights stained with filth and the half-constructed flyover and buildings brought down to debris. He half wished it would happen.

But he soon collected himself out of his fantasy and noticed how quiet it had become when he stopped walking. The river hardly made a sound. He tapped his feet. Standing there, he felt it was right to leave home. It was a mess there. He didn't want to be like them. Nobody could help him. He had to leave.

He walked on without worrying about shelter now. Even with the stink, the air around the river seemed to have an energy that it passed on to Chotu as he crossed it. He walked the long way from the bridge to the highway and saw the huge billboards at its entrance. He saw on them the same face as on the posters from earlier in the night. He walked under them onto the highway. He wondered how long ago it had been since he was putting up posters. He remembered the throbbing crowd inside the smoky stadium but in the lonely space around him that image appeared too distant and unreal to trouble him. He thought about the policemen and chuckled. Policemen are funny when they aren't bothering you, he thought. He thought about being thrown from the bus and crying.

The highway was different from the roads in the city. It wasn't punctuated by traffic lights or intersections. After a while he realized he couldn't tell how long he'd been walking on it, it might have been hours or it might have been fifteen minutes. It seemed there would be no sleeping tonight. The road had no end. It looked like a chance to see the last of the hateful city. He was the only human he could see. There were only fields on either side of the highway, and the night sky above. Looking back, he could still see lights of the city, but they were hazy and blurring out of sight.

But the highway was sure to lead to something, a new city perhaps, where nobody knew him, and opportunities awaited him same as everyone else. The prospect led him on, he walked tirelessly, even with enthusiasm. He had a pang of hunger when he saw a dhaba and smelt food.

He went toward the dhaba, a little off from the road, and looked at the menu. The cheapest items were for Rs. 5, 10, 15, though he couldn't tell what they were. He went up to the owner.

"What is the thing for Rs. 5?"
"Roti"
"With?"
"With nothing, curry separate."
"What is that for Rs 10?"
"Omelet. Half"
"What is that for Rs 15?"
"It's full omelet. What do you want?"
"Why is it only half for Rs. 10? It should be more than that."
"Prices are fixed. If you want discount, take a full. And what are you doing here at this time of night? Do you have any money?"
"I have money. Give me half omelet."
"Pay first."

Chotu gave the owner 10 rupees and the owner shouted 'half omelet' to the cook. Chotu had a hard time waiting when the air was full of the smell of food. The omelet wouldn't satisfy him but it'd be enough for the night. The cook handed him his meal. Chotu wanted to hog it up in one go, but he looked for a place to sit. He sat down on stone slabs lying nearby and thought he would make the omelet last as long as possible. He started eating, and the omelet was disappearing fast when a dog came at his feet and stood looking up at him. He tried to ignore it and finish his meal fast. But he started getting irritated and tried to shoo it away. He was in no mood to share his little meal. The dog kept standing there. Chotu lowered him half of the portion left, but this gave him a pang of irritation. The dog ate it readily and looked for more, but by now chotu had finished it. He still felt painfully hungry. He felt like kicking the dog, but he just stroked his head. Then he looked again towards the dhaba. He really wanted to have another but this time there was the added agony of having been a fool at not buying a double omelet in the first place. He looked at a truck driver taking a huge plate and after a while got up and said, "Hell, I'll have another one."

He went to the vendor hoping he wouldn't pay attention to his stupidity and asked for another half omelet. The vendor looked at him with a little smirk and quietly got on with it. Chotu stood embarrassed but thought "What the heck, I'll enjoy it." The vendor handed him the second plate and a five-rupee coin, "Boys your age should go to school and learn something." Chotu felt relieved and smiled at the vendor but couldn't think of anything to say, he just nodded and went back to the slabs. The dog looked at him again with expectation and stood near him looking up as he sat down on the slab. Chotu gave it a piece. This time Chotu ate relaxed and enjoyed the feeling of his stomach getting filled.

He looked around and saw the night had almost passed. It looked as if day would break anytime. "Maybe I won't need to sleep at all." He thought of all that had happened tonight. He finished his food and looked around and found a little bucket of water near the shop. He was washing his hands when he heard the truck driver talking to the vendor.

"Home's for others, brother. We live on the road. I don't know where I'd sleep next. And with whom."
"It's only good, believe me. Where are you headed tonight?"
"Well, you could say right now I am headed to Raspur."
"Haha! perfect! That's the place to be."

They both laughed. Chotu thought the driver looked rather happy. Raspur sounded like a good place. He wondered if he'd ever visit it. He started walking down towards the highway again, wondering if he could stay without sleep. He passed near the truck and stopped. He looked in the direction of the dhaba. The truck driver was still talking to the vendor and though the truck was plain in his sight, he appeared too engrossed in his conversation and meal. Chotu thought he would take a look inside the truck. He climbed on a rod on the side and drew aside the plastic sheet covering the truck's carrier. He saw metal sheets inside stacked on top of each other. He climbed down.

He started walking again but then stopped. "How must Raspur be? I think it's certainly a good place and there has to be some work." He felt nervous. Yet undecided, he walked back towards the truck and lifted the sheet again. There was only a little space on the edges and he would have to sit cramped in there. "That's no problem" And if the sheets should move and stab him while the truck moves? "I'll put the blanket at my back and I'll sit leaning on the stack." He shot a glance towards the dhaba and quickly climbed into the carrier.

It was tighter than he had expected. He was in an awkward position, almost stuck. He jiggled out of there and decided to lie down, it wasn't possible to keep sitting. He wondered if he could stay in that position for long. But he lay still, afraid to make noise. He wished the driver wouldn't look in the carrier before driving. It had been a while and he was thinking of looking for a better position when he heard the driver coming. His became still. He was almost waiting for the sheet to be turned aside when he felt the truck shake. The driver had probably climbed into the cabin and was starting his truck. He was relieved as he felt the jerk, heard the roar and felt the vibrations under and on all sides.

It was hard to believe he'd really be going to Raspur, leaving this city for good. He wondered how they'll react at home when he returns a rich man. "I'll take them all to Raspur if they would want to come. I'd be ok with it then. Maybe they haven't even heard of Raspur. But I'd show them." He almost laughed out.

He tried to imagine his life ahead. The driver had put on a song and Chotu couldn't hear it clearly in all the rattle but he didn't care. The truck was racing away and the sheet was fluttering. The wind came to him in gusts and brought a whiff of the coming morning. He could see glimpses of tree tops rushing behind, and now and then he could see beyond them. He was drifting into sleep. The sky was the light blue of early morning but the stars were still visible.