When I feel I don't want anything -

- maybe I do not know what I want, or I only know what I don't want - and that is most of the things in my current life.

Or, unattainability is making me forget some of my desires.

Or, I am scared of where my desires will lead me.

Or, I want things which cannot exist together.

Or, I am constantly distracted from what I want by the urgency that has entered my life. I find myself attending to every flare that erupts around me, when most will just die out if I ignore them.

Or, the effort required to fulfill those desires scares me.

Or, the knowledge that my desires are not unique makes them less personal, and less appealing.

Or, the knowledge that those desires are too personal, unshared, almost eccentric, tells me that I'll be alone at their fulfillment, with no one to share my happiness at their realization.

Or, I am uncomfortable with the realization, that while there are so many wrongs in the world I could desire to correct, my desires are only personal, and for the purpose of the world, useless.

Or, the fear that other desires will take their place once I've fulfilled them, makes me just let them be.

Or, the fear that when I get what I desire, it may end up making me feel look like a fool.

Maybe the barriers are too high, maybe I've gotten too used to my present life and the desires would require big changes.

Maybe I'm embarrassed at my desires, they're too small or too big, too romantic, or too flat. Maybe I'm scared of losing desires if they come true.

Maybe I am not without desires. Maybe they're hidden deep within this mess.